Chapter 2: Ryoga Hibiki Lucky Day "Man, this bites," Ranma said as he trudged down the sidewalk. "I really wish I didn't have to put up with stuff like this." It was really weird seeing Akane's mother turn up alive. Nabiki was still sure it was some sort of trick, but the other two sisters seemed to just acccept it, as if there were nothing suspicious about someone coming back after supposedly being dead for ten years -- in perfect health, and not even able to remember where she'd been all that time. Then when Mrs. Tendo met Ranma, all she could do was keep asking questions. Did he make good grades in school? What did he plan to do after graduation? It all boiled down to the real, unspoken question: *Are you good enough for my daughter?* Of course, one thing she never asked was whether he really wanted to get married or not. Why should she be any different from anyone else? Akane didn't even seem to care that Ranma even existed, now that her mother was back. He had to resort to jokes about her cooking to get her to talk to him at all, and all they got him was a 'Ranma, you jerk!' and a frying pan in the face. Then she called him jealous. As if he cared what that tomboy did! Her mother ended up sending him off to the grocery store, with a shopping list the size of one of Kuno's speeches. Like he didn't have anything better to do than buy ingredients for Akane's toxic waste. Jealous? What a stupid idea. What did Ranma have to be jealous about? "Oh, it's so cute!" "Come on, Sachiko, it's my turn to hold him!" "Tee hee! In a minute!" Passing by a park, Ranma saw several giggling girls in school uniforms huddled together. Looking closer, he noticed that the object of their affections was a familiar black piglet. Ranma leaned idly against a tree as he watched. "What the heck is he doing? Akane's been going nuts looking for her P-chan, and here he is playing around. What a stupid, inconsiderate jerk that Ryoga is!" "Yeah." A voice came from behind. "I hear he even talks to himself!" "Really? That... HEY!" Ranma turned around to see Ryoga standing there. "Huh? How... how can you be in two places at once?" Ryoga smirked. "I'm the only me, Ranma. From now on, P-chan and I are completely separate." He opened a canteen and poured water over his head to prove his point. "Water doesn't do anything to me now except get me wet. Too bad *you* still have your curse!" "You got cured?!" Ranma's eyes bulged excitedly. "HOW? Tell me!" *** Ryoga's thoughts drifted back to earier that morning. He had just unfolded a piece of paper. THIS WILL BE YOUR LUCKY DAY, it read. "One hundred yen, please." the old man said, holding out a hand. "I didn't want a fortune!" Ryoga protested. "I just wanted directions!" The street vendor merely repeated himself. "One hundred yen, please." Ryoga sighed and handed over the money. He set out walking. It was a cloudless morning. The sun hung low in the sky, baking the city in its warmth. Ryoga huffed and puffed as he forced himself to keep going; the summer heat was enough to challenge even his phenomenal endurance. Deciding it would be a good idea to stop and try to ask for directions again, he approached a nearby teenage girl. "Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get to Nerima? The Tendo Dojo?" Actually it was Akari's farm he wanted to get to, but he didn't even know what district it was in. He'd have to go to the Tendos' place and hope somebody there could help him. "No problem, all you need to do is follow this road." She pointed. "It's not far." "Thanks!" Ryoga waved and headed off. "Not that way! The other way! Never mind, follow me and I'll show you." "Um...." The thought of getting involved with some unknown girl made Ryoga a little nervous. "Are you sure... I mean, is it too much trouble?" "Nah, it's okay," she said as she started down the sidewalk. "I've got nothing to do right now anyway. Besides, I might run into Darling at the dojo!" Ryoga hurried to catch up, feeling vaguely curious about who this girl's 'Darling' was. The girl sighed as she walked. "It's not much fun being in love with someone who doesn't even seem to care that I exist. But I'm not giving up! I'm going to get noticed! I'm going to shout 'I love you!' from the highest rooftops!" "That's the spirit!" Ryoga unscrewed the cap from his water canteen as he laughed inwardly. 'Darling' just had to be Ranma. Having yet another girl after him would serve that jerk right -- especially a girl as pushy as this one seemed to be. "If there's any way I can help...." He drank from the canteen. The water was warm, but it still refreshed him. "Oh, thank you so much!" The girl smiled cutely. "With you on my side, I'm sure I'll be able to win the love of darling Akari!" Water abruptly sprayed from Ryoga's mouth in a wide upward arc. "Akari? Akari Unryu?!" He ran ahead and planted himself in the girl's path. "But-- you can't!" The girl stopped and glared defiantly at Ryoga. "Why not?" "For one thing, she-- she likes MEN!" "I AM a man!" she -- or rather, he -- proclaimed proudly. "Tsubasa Kurenai is one hundred percent man! Don't you forget it, buster!" "But-- but Akari loves ME! Ever since I defeated her pet wrestling pig!" "Her what?" "Her sumo pig, Katsunishiki. The one she rides around on. Her grandfather's dying wish was that she marry someone strong enough to beat it." "So I would have to...." Tsubasa looked thoughtful for a moment. "On second thought, darling Akane is the one I really love." Ryoga's jaw dropped. "What?! How can you switch just like that?!" He shook his fist threateningly. "You stay away from Akane *and* Akari! If you weren't a girl, I'd...." "I told you, I'm NOT a girl!" Ryoga pondered for a moment. "Oh yeah. I forgot." His kick sent Tsubasa flying down the block. With Tsubasa gone, Ryoga paused to get his bearings, if indeed he could ever have such a thing. He currently stood on a sidewalk at the edge of a city park, an oasis of green in the vast desert of concrete and steel. Tall trees flanked a grassy picnic area on one side, with a small pond on the other. Nearby, a pair of toddlers shrieked with delight as they kicked a ball around on the lawn. He couldn't even remember which way he was supposed to go to get to the Tendo dojo. Damn that Tsubasa! He had probably just pretended to be after Akari and Akane, to make fun of Ryoga. Maybe he had really been Ranma in another one of his disguises. A gleam of light caught Ryoga's eye, the glint of something shiny in the grass not far from where he stood. Probably nothing important, he thought; but for some reason he was curious. He walked casually over. A small brass heart lay concealed between blades of grass. Ryoga bent down to pick it up and examine it. There was a seam running around it; Ryoga tried various approaches but couldn't manage to get it to pop open. *One wish.* The voice had sounded in his head. "What?!" *I will grant one wish. Choose, but choose well, for I will grant only one, and once it is made, nothing in the universe may undo it until it has run its course. What is your true desire?* "Is-- Is it really true? I can have anything I want? ANYTHING?!" There was no answer. Ryoga stared intently at the object held between his hands. Could it be true? Maybe his luck was changing after all. *** One wish. Ryoga sat in the grass, savoring the knowledge. For once, things were going *his* way. He could have anything he wanted, anything at all. But what did he want? He could wish for Akane to love him. Maybe a few months ago, he would have done that in a second. But after the battle with Saffron, when he watched Ranma save Akane, he couldn't deny the truth any longer. Ranma loved Akane. His love had brought her back from the dead, when all Ryoga had been able to do was to stand there and feel sorry. Besides, it wouldn't be right to win someone's love just by wishing for it. Ryoga would always be haunted by the knowledge that he would never have had her without the wish. No, Akane would never love him. But Akari did. She wasn't the girl who he had dreamed of spending his life with, but she was wonderful in her own different way. A sense of direction. That would be the sensible thing to ask for. His inability to get from one place to another had been responsible, directly or indirectly, for most of the hell that life had put him through. It was what was keeping him from settling down with Akari to raise a family. Yes, that was the sensible thing... to wish for a perfect sense of direction. Then he could go back to Jusenkyo, and get the cure to his infernal pig curse. Except that Jusenkyo had flooded the last time Ryoga had been there, and the waters had mixed together. Nobody knew what horrors they would change their victims into now. And even if the pools were sorted out, Ryoga knew that they couldn't be trusted. Things had gone wrong too many times for it to be coincidence. No, if he was ever going to be cured of becoming P-chan, it wouldn't be at Jusenkyo. "Damn!" he shouted. *Damn this stupid curse!* As long as he had it, it was inevitable that Akane would someday find out who her pet really was. He didn't want to see Akane hurt like that. He didn't want her to hate him for the rest of her life. Maybe he had to use the wish to be cured. Akari wouldn't like it, but she would understand. But using the wish that way would mean he'd still be lost all the time. What kind of life with Akari could he have then? "Aaaaarrrrgh! What should I wish for?" No matter which choice he made, it was sure to end up in misery! How could fate play such a cruel trick on him? Faint noises rustled from the trees in front of Ryoga. He stood, tensed, and listened, as they became louder. They sounded like a stampeding animal knocking down everything in its path. A huge pig emerged from the trees. A goofy smile frozen on its face, it slid rigidly toward Ryoga somehow on unbending legs. A voice sounded from within. "CHARGE!" Ryoga casually stretched out his arm and struck the pig with his fist. The ceramic that it was made of cracked like an eggshell, instantly falling apart and crumbling to the ground, revealing Tsubasa inside. "What do you think you're doing?!" Ryoga yelled, still reluctant to hit someone who looked so much like a woman. "Are you making fun of me?! Where did you get this pig?" "The new restaurant down the street. Yamadashi's Bar-B-Que. I'll do anything to prove my love for darling Akari!" "Oh, you're back to her now, are you? Don't you have any loyalty? Your love couldn't be worth much if you can switch just like that." "I AM loyal! I only love one girl at a time! And if any of them...." Tsubasa paused, as his expression seemed to soften somewhat. "If any of them ever loved me back, I'd stay loyal forever." Some inner pang of conscience interrupted Ryoga as he was about to pound the transvestite into the ground. Tsubasa wasn't the *only* one who had switched from Akane to Akari. *But...* he thought, *but that-- that was different!* It sounded absurd even inside his own mind. "Look," Ryoga said as he unclenched his fist. "I can understand how you feel. Really. But Akane and Akari aren't going to love you. That's just how it is. Find someone else, for your own sake." "You handsome guys have it easy. I bet you could probably have any girl you ever wanted." Ryoga tried not to laugh. *If you only knew!* "Some guys have all the luck." Tsubasa sighed. "I wish I were the irresistably cute type... the kind that girls just couldn't resist. I'd give anything for that." Suddenly, Ryoga felt something in his hand become red-hot. The wishing heart! "Aaaa!" His fingers snapped painfully open, as the object flug itself away into the trees. "Damn you, Tsubasa!" Ryoga screamed. "You stole my wish! You ruined my one chance for happiness! I'll kill you! I'll ki--" He doubled over in pain, feeling as if his body were being torn in half. Then the pain stopped, as abruptly as it had started. Ryoga lifted himself off the ground and looked around. Tsubasa was nowhere to be seen. *** "I could tell you how I got cured, Ranma, but you know what an inconsiderate jerk I am." "Huh? Don'tcha know when I'm *kidding?* You're a great guy, Ryoga. A real friend!" "Yeah, whatever. Just show me how to get to Akari's farm, okay?" "Sure! No problem! Hey, want me to carry your pack for you? You must be tired from all that walking...." The black piglet watched the two figures recede into the distance. He snuggled up contentedly against the girl holding him. This wasn't exactly what he had hoped for -- he couldn't even talk anymore. But there was no denying how nice it felt to be liked. And this form did make it even easier to fit into places. Yes, there were all sorts of possibilities. Maybe darling Akari would like a new pet!